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How I’ve Learnt To Be Kind To Myself

How I’ve Learnt To Be Kind To Myself

How I’ve Learnt To Be Kind To Myself

How I’ve Learnt To Be Kind To Myself

A few weeks ago we had to make the heart wrenching decision to put our dog Diesel to sleep, after fighting cancer for almost 2 years. Tears were streaming down my face as he took his final breath. It was one of the worst days of my life. Before we left The Animal Hospital without our boy, the vet put her hand on my back and said; “Please be kind to yourself over the next few weeks.” It is something that has really stuck with me and I got thinking about all the times during my career I had tried to push on through when I was unwell or put myself last when in fact I should have been putting myself first. Being kind to yourself is harder than it sounds and it’s taken me over a year to get to some place where I stop and think, yes I should be kind to myself.

How I’ve Learnt To Be Kind To Myself

Last year I started personal training with Ruth from iThrive for Health (who unfortunately has now moved to Brisbane). She suggested I undertake health coaching with her as she could see I was off balance and becoming a little stressed out with trying to manage all my work loads. Before I started health coaching I honestly thought that walking the dog each day was enough “selfcare”. With Ruth’s pushing help I slowly, yes slowly, began to realise the importance for myself to have “me” time. Ruth would ask me each week; “So what did you do for yourself each day?” and she always knew when I didn’t partake in daily selfcare.


You’re probably thinking what I did initially in that who the heck has time for daily selfcare. But it’s not about spending hours a day on it, but doing something each day just for you. For me it was walking the dog and toddler after a busy day, taking a bath at night and reading a book or doing a home facial. Things for me and things that made me zone out and take care of myself. When your tank is empty you aren’t giving much to others and I still have to remind myself of this.


I’ve also learnt to say no. Trying to please people just doesn’t work and I realised I wasn’t doing what was best for me but trying to accommodate everyone else. I would feel so guilty when I would say no, and sometimes I still do. My time like everyone else’s is precious and I have to prioritise what works best for me and what is most important.


Like any working Mum trying to find that elusive balance is a daily struggle. As Gloss is getting busier I’m needing for solid time to work and then that Mum guilt kicks in. Am I spending enough time with my daughter, am I working too much? My 3 ½ year old pretty much answered this for me last week when she asked if she could go to Pre-Kindy another day a week, as she wanted to go twice a week not once. I booked her in for half a day on Thursday, a day where we normally go out for breakfast together and then do food shopping, I went to pick her up at lunch and she asked me what I was doing there and to go and come pick her up later. The only person that made me feel guilty was me!


In the few days after Diesel died, a lot of people asked me how I was doing. I made purposely decision to not pretend everything was fine and when I was asked that question I answered truthfully…I was feeling sad and I was having a tough time. I even cried in front of a client when he said he was sorry about my dog. I figured that the question of how are you has become just politeness and how many people are genuinely interested in how you are going.


It was all a part of me being kind to myself. It’s ok to be sad and upset and it’s ok to show it.


I hope you are kind to yourself. You deserve it.


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